You guys ready to get depressed?? I came to this realization the other day and it’s pretty morbid and a bit sad. Everything that is affected by time has an appointed date and time to end. Like everything. Every housing situation, every day, every year, every up and every down, every stage of life, every social event, and music festival.
Even the small stuff like your favorite piece of clothing, the car you currently drive, the apartment you live in, your favorite pair of headphones. This includes the big stuff too. Like every relationship you currently have, the age your kids are currently at, and your circle of friends. Now we’re really diving deep into depression aren’t we? Here’s how Professor Slughorn explained it:
Most people think there are two options given this truth. They either never get attached to anything or they get bitter when it ends. This reminds me of a quote from C.S Lewis
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
I also think there’s a third wrong option. Holding on to it for too long. We all have that friend whose a lo-key hoarder because “I can’t throw that away, I might use it if a ridiculously improbable event occurs!” or that friend who “just knows we’ll get back together eventually”.
The first step in dealing with this part of life is realizing that everything has an expiration date and that’s what makes it special. When you realize that you’re graduating in 3 months you start to appreciate every walk to class, every minute stuck in traffic on campus and every late night. You don’t complain. That’s the main thing. When your perspective changes, suddenly the small things that used to irritate you don’t anymore.
I lived at home for 21 years of my life. The only way I didn’t lose my sanity was reminding myself when I would get irritated with my parents, that one day my relationship with them would mainly consist of just phone calls.
99% of the interaction you have with your parents happens before the age of 18. I realized this and learned to love my parents more because of it. That’s what I’m trying to say, loving something or someone more because of the fact that you won’t always have them. It’s all about perspective.
However, the main thing I came here to talk about was holding on to something for too long. I saw this quote by Jason Fried on LinkedIn today.
You typically compete more against habits than you do against competitors. In most cases, comfort and familiarity are stronger forces than new, better, and different.
Why do we hold on to things for too long? Because they’re comfortable, because they’re familiar. It’s much easier to stick with the current job you have than go into the unknown world of job hunting. Even if your current job is dead end and you know you’re capable of more.
It’s easier to stay in a relationship that you're familiar with even if you know it won’t last and both of you are just coasting.
It’s easier to stay in the town you grew up in because it’s familiar and safe.
Familiar and safe aren’t always best. When you hold on to something for longer than it’s intended purpose you aren’t doing yourself or that thing a favor.
This is what I hope we realize, I hope we begin to enjoy every bit of everything we currently have and when the time is up we let it go. I hope we don’t try and hold on to something that was only meant for a period of time. I hope we start being more grateful for the seasons of life we’re already in.
I’ll leave you with my favorite quote from the Office: